A Sincere Attempt at a Mindful Life

I love this.

I am fortunate to live next to a hidden gem of a "store" (I use parentheses because its technically a store, but is actually so much more).Every month they release a magazine containing the local events and several interesting articles....and amazing little snippets like the one above.

Every morning I wake up, stretch for about 5 minutes, bring my attention to my breath, get out of bed and make a beeline to the Coffee pot. 

I then sit on my back porch drinking my life giving liquid while simultaneously listening to the birds, wind, and life force waking up all around me. 

Several Mornings ago, I was reading the latest copy of said magazine and found this... And I immediately fell in word love.

I originally planned on only writing about the picture, but it took a detour upon the start of the Morning time discussion... So bare with my ADHD for a moment and then Ill go back to the picture...

Anyway, my morning time...

I love being alone at this time. 

Probably because its the only time I can be.... 

Between the husband, daughter and her adopted Grandpa you can guarantee its a rarity.

I now understand why there are Pictures floating around the social media accounts of Moms everywhere shamefully admitting to hiding in closets to eat candy bars. This is a no judgement zone FYI... I fully condone hiding... Just maybe not to eat Processed Sugar and steal from your kid. 

Something like meditation, reading, napping though is a whole nutha story...and one that can be justified well.

In my Family, it's as if every person in this home has a pre programmed radar for knowing exactly when I am trying to Meditate, Write, or have any kind of quiet time whatsoever. It seriously is creepy...

I often think it must be how a bunch of mind readers feel living together. No one could ever do the passive aggressive roommate crap and claim they had no idea how the last yogurt you dreamed of devouring all Day long mysteriously vanished from its last known location.  

At least I have food in my fridge, a toddler making messes, and beings I can count on around me. Some are not so fortunate...

See.. Theres a silver lining in everything. Which brings me to my next point...

Gratitude works wonders! 

While I'm writing this and complaining about my ever dwindling peace and quiet time, there are people all over this big rock who would give anything for one more day with family or children... Or to experience the miracle of parenting at all. 

And it would really be messed up to not acknowledge the poor souls that cant drink or dont have access to coffee...i mean that may be the worst of it all!  (Seriously tho I'm kidding)

The point is I truly attempt to (remember) to make the conscious decision to be Grateful for the Good in my life, but also the bad. 

Its not always easy, and has taken years to train my Egoic mind to go to Gratitude rather than self pity. And even now I occasionally allow my Ego to take control, but thankfully, my meditation practice and inner reflection helps me to curb it before I am in my bed with the blankets pulled over my head sobbing "Why does everyone hate me?? I DONT DESERVE THIS!! "

... no judgement zone remember..... 

Or flipping out on an innocent a hole just doing what his karmic soul was put here to do. 

Progress not perfection right?

So back to the paragraph in the magazine...
I personally believe 85% of our societys problems can be traced back to three things.

1. We do not believe we are part of an ecosystem. We think we control the ecosystem when in fact no one does, nothing does.  We are the ecosystem, it is us. 

There is nothing wrong with paying attention to nature, respecting said nature and wanting people to have compassion towards all living things. There is also nothing wrong with rolling Down a grassy hill, running around the beach splashing in the waves, or laying on a blanket admiring the clouds or stars above. 

That's what it is there for!

2. We have created a pressure cooker society where the idea of slowing down or not chasing fortune means something is wrong with you. 

We no longer believe happiness is a PERSONAL human right. We have adopted the belief system that unless you become something or have something you can never be happy. And if you don't desire something you've obviously lost your mind.

3. We have completely lost touch with the true nature of our Being. LovingKindness and Compassion has become Ego and self will run riot. We no longer believe in the "it takes a village" mindset. 

Our true purpose is to love and be loved. To love in harmony with one's self and one's surroundings, human or not. We are all the same, and need each other. We are Spiritual Sentient Beings having a Human Earthly Experience, and have amazing abilities both in the physical and spiritual realms. We are eternal and we are divine. 

When humanity is viewed from a Conscious standpoint it is almost impossible to not agree with everything written in this picture.

If happiness is only obtained by going within a society thats based on the idea of only seeking outward is doomed from the start.

Jesus said "Neither look here nor there, for the kingdom of heaven is within ".  I mean that's pretty much said as plainly as possible...yet we continue to think of even Heaven as this obtainable gole, all the while missing the Heaven in each of us at any given moment.

If every person on this Earth gave a 25% effort at living in the manner depicted in the photo above I personally believe we would be amazed before we even realized the change occurred. 

Life is too short, and the state of the world too hard, to not live in LovingKindness... And by living in LovingKindness we can create a life where time is limitless and the world is our caregiver, and we are its. So go do something fun today... enjoy life. Have fun!  Love everything and everyone and attempt to see things as if for the first time in your life. 

And if at 5 pm you realize you forgot, or you had a karmic lesson on Being an AssHole, dont worry... You did exactly what you were supposed to today. Try to see the reasons for todays actions and if need be mediation will bring the answer... Always remember Tomorrow is a redo. Actually, the next second is a redo, because that other cluster of bad seconds before it are already gone forever. Just a Made up thought in your head.

I do not want to look back and regret time being spent on literally meaningless tasks instead of spending it doing something I love, or something that puts me closer to doing something I love. This world is a miracle every day. Being a Mother is my ultimate joy and there is nothing I love better than loving my daughter, taking her on adventures outdoors, showing her this world, showing her life, and most importantly showing her how to interact with both using LovingKindness. Life is Perspective.. We literally have the power to enjoy life however we want, but first we must be the change... 

Life. Now. Om.

The all important first post. 

I wrote one already, a nice introduction to what I want to say...then I found out Blogger doesnt have autosave..........

My ADHD kicked in causing me not to notice my Four year old playing her Talking Tom game while simultaneously pushing my beautifully written post closer and closer to the preverbial fall of deletion over the Unprepared Phone Dying Cliff. 

At one point in my life I would have probably thrown my phone, yelled at my Daughter, and sit pissed off as I frustratingly tried to Recreate the non-recreatable. 

Thank God for Spiritual Awakening...

I have to confess, I did get pissed, but the difference is I didnt BECOME pissed. 

I felt and acknowledged the emotion, letting it float by in the often ignored realm of the conscious mind.

I then put the phone down to come back at a later time. And consciously made the decision to let it go. 

And now, is the later time. 

Nothing, absolutely Nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. 

This is a fundamental life belief I've grown to rely on these past few years, regardless of the difficulty to follow through with what this entails. I dont get to Cherry pick when this is conveniently applied and when Its not. Everything means EVERYTHING. Easier said than done though for sure. 

Sometimes it seems I want to swim upstream and fight the entire universe. 

But thanks to the world ending, eye opening, ego losing, peace flurishing activity I discovered called Meditation, I have become intrinsically aware of this flaw.

And because of the beauty of living in the Now, I can now pull myself back from this conditioned response of having to control the Cause AND Effect of every little aspect of my life. 

Which brings me to some of what my original blog post contained. 

Life. Now. Om. 

I wanted a catchy name, something fun. I like puns, and I wanted the name to symbolize what I want to say (Imagine that... i mean isnt that what everyones blog title is aimed to do).

I came up with Life Now Om. 

Life, obviously because its about my life but in addition to my life, I want to discuss the beauty of discovering living in the Now and the power of the Vibration Om. 

I say Vibration because to say "word" is an insult and "sound" puts a limitation to its true ability. 

Om is the primordial sound, the Alpha and Omega of Mantras and Vibrations so to speak. 

It is the vibration that connects all living life.

Living life in the Now, with the intent of staying true to who I am as a being, both Spiritual and Human is what I believe my Soul should do, what we all should do.

Which is the reason I feel it necessary to share what Ive learned with anyone who will listen. 

The earth will be a better place when Experience Strength and Hope is freely given away for the souls purpose (and soul purpose) of creating a conscious loving global society.

Kinda deep but needed non the less.

So, there you have it, Life Now Om.  

Enough about the name, there is after all the content of the blog that should be discussed. After all, No one comes to a blog to read a never ending story about the Blogs name...thats weird. 

So here it is, hope you enjoy. 

Ive been on this Journey my entire life. 

Until recently I would have said this started 6 years ago, but the further I go, the more I realize thats incorrect. 

I have always been the way I am in this exact Moment. 

Sure, Ive gained experience and wisdom. Maybe some wrinkles. I said MAYBE. 

But the core of my being, the Listener, the voice in my head, the I, has always acted, sounded, and thought the exact same way. 

I talk too much, think too much, speak too loud, too nice, too mean, a people pleaser, anti social. I'm too skinny, tall, bitchy, etc. I shouldnt smoke, shouldnt have "experimented" with opiates, should have gone to college, married BEFORE the baby, married someone without etc. The list goes on and on. 

Until, one day, I was sitting alone in my big house, with my Dog, two cats, Diamond Ring, Two Cars and one pink Covered Perfect, Fat, Gerber Baby sleeping upstairs.
 I had recently taken a trip with my Mother and sister... A Deadly Combo... You have no. I. Dea.
Needless to say it went to hell in a handbasket about four times in the five day trip.  The final freak out leaving me meandering through the Atlanta International Airport for the two and a half hour lay over acting like I had something in my Eye... not crying ....pushing my 1 year old and 50 lbs of baby crap by myself.

Something had to give.

I finally had everything my Family had taught me I needed to be successful in their eyes. I had done it....and yet,  as soon as we were put in a situation where we could finally behave as adults, we were instead shoved into our familiar patterns by our conditioned response to one another.

Except for one small thing, I observed this from Consciousness and altered my behavior accordingly.

This was a first. And no one like it... But me.

So back to the recliner and thinking WTF am I going to do about this.... And, like a lightbulb turning on, it dawned on me. 

I am not the one with the Problem. 

Now most would see this as an egotistical statement. But its not. And heres why-

1. It does not stem from a of anger, resentment, or hatred.

2. I do not believe I am special in any way or different from anyone else. 

3. I believe every person on this Earth would have the same experience if they realized what I realized by this statement. 

The realization was this:

Every single belief and thought I have ever had. Every. Single. One. Has stemmed from someone elses reality.

It may have been an original thought, but that thought can most definitely be traced back to the belief or thought of someone else. 

I spent my entire life listening to everyone else, and trying to please everyone else. Going so far as to accept their false belief about myself as my truth. 

Along the way I would see glimpses of my truth. At times there has been a smack in the face from the Universe when Ive ignored my truth for too long...thats never worked out for me very well... Like ever. 

The reason I ignored it at all goes back to those thoughts from other people. I had allowed other people's False thoughts about who I was and am, become my reality. 

Some may say this realization is second nature to some, and not in fact a realization, but I dont think so. 

I think everyone reads those words, says that statement or knows its the truth, but for some reason compartmentalize it into whatever box their Ego deems fit at that time. 

For myself, coming to this realization seemed to propel me into the dimension of Awakening at a speed I was unaware even existed, much less something I found to be comfortable or easy. 

Its been an insane trip, one that has brought many leasons, blessings, and change my way. 

I may not have been graceful through it all, but I at least tried (and still try) to be grateful. Grateful for the opportunity to grow, for becoming stronger, for all the good things I did have still, and most importantly, the breath I had (and have) at the start and end of each day. 

I finally knew what it meant to be sincere with yourself, to know yourself, and to love yourself. Without judgement or limitations.

At 26 years old I was a clean slate and could put the pieces of who I am back together as I saw them. Not as someone else saw them. 

The freedom of this brought me a peace that surpassed all understanding. My family thought Id gone crazy... They still do. But thats okay, because I also now know what Forgive them for they know not what they do means. 

They dont mean to hurl their false beliefs my way. Its what was done to them, and so on and so on, since the beginning of my family tree... And probably even before that. 

Its not a blame game, its the end of the game itself. And the start of the life I have always known I was meant to live. 

I no longer have anything to prove to anyone. Not even myself. 

I am enough, I am beautiful, and I am a child of God. Knowing this, what exactly is there to change?  Nothing. 

I have no idea what life will bring my way, but I do know I have a daily reprive from insanity (and Ignorance) based on my spiritual condition...and this blog to share my discoveries and rememberings along the way hopefully helping someone as well. After all, to help another is to help yourself. 

So there you have it, the first blog post. I am actually happy the first first post was deleted. This turned out to be completely different than that one, but perfect just the same. Turns put everything does happen for a reason. Its my job to get out of the way....

Namaste